One of the easiest and most effective ways to spice up your sex life is to start getting it on in new places. Or, anything other than the bedroom, really. Unless it’s the beach. In which case, opt for the bedroom.
Sex on the beach might be a popular enough fantasy to have had a not-very-good mixed drink named after it, but that’s really all it is: a fantasy. In real life, sex on the beach is filled with sand, sand burn, sand rashes and salt water that stings, and is filled with who knows how many microbes you can possibly imagine. It still doesn’t sound so sexy after all, does it? Sure, you can plan ahead with all the proper provisions and pray that everything goes accordingly, but that just takes away from the spontaneity, which is usually the best part. Here are the top 10 places people secretly enjoy to get it on with their partner, without the risks of getting sand in unwanted places.
1. The Office
Having your own office with a view is great. Having your own office with a lock on the door is even better. Sex at the office breaks up the monotony and drudgery of the work week and helps to fulfill a fantasy almost every man has had at least one time in his life. And probably most women, too. But a 2013 survey conducted by jobs and career community Glassdoor revealed that only 10 percent of workers admit to actually having done it in the office. If your partner is lucky enough to have an office with a lock, make a surprise lunch visit one day wearing clothing with extremely easy access and bon appetite.
2. In Your Parents’ House
Where better to break the rules than the place that was filled with them? Sex at your parents’ house never stops feeling naughty, even as grown adults. Pick a room with a lock and try to keep it down, though, out of respect. Because you know how your gag reflex kicks in the second you think about your parents having sex? Well, they feel the same way about you.
3. In A Public Bathroom
Sex in public bathrooms in restaurants and bars is more common than you might think. As Humpty from The Digital Underground liked to remind us in his song ‘The Humpty Dance’, he “once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.” And he’s definitely not alone.
It’s so common, The Washington City Paper recently added a new category to its Best Of The City section called Best Restaurant To B**g In The Bathroom. Although the number one write-in was “Gross,” the rest are filled with legitimate spots in which people say they have tried and enjoyed having sex. This one is either really great or completely disgusting, though, so choose wisely.
4. In A Car
Yes, it’s a little high school and your chances for a leg cramp are about 800 times greater. But there’s just something about getting it on in the car that is just hot. 80 percent of the males fantasized about sex in the car. It doesn’t matter if it’s in your driveway or in the parking lot at the airport. Sex in the car is fun because it’s pure passion in the heat of the moment and it’s something different.
5. On A Boat In The Middle Of The Water
The thrill of sex in the middle of a large body of water is one that should be experienced by everyone, at least once. There’s no land and there are no people for miles to be seen, and yet the fear of getting caught remains, which is what makes it so hot. Next time you’re out on a boat with your partner and find yourself in a secluded spot, kill the engine and let the waves carry your rhythm.
6. In Front Of A Screen
Sometimes, proximity and long distances get in the way of our sex lives. But technology has definitely helped raise the pleasure of old fashioned phone sex. These days, you can text, FaceTime, Skype, or send self-destructing photos back and forth to each other instantly, at any time of the day. So why wouldn’t you be using technology to make your sex life better? Sending naughty messages or photos to your partner throughout the day can not only get them (and you) worked up in the moment, but it will help keep the mood going until you’re back together (face to face) again.
7. In The Water
A pool, a bath tub, or a shower will all work, but a hot tub is where you will find the most success for doing the deed. Pools can be cold (not a man’s best friend) and lack a lot of variety. Bath tubs are usually a little too small and you’ll find yourself too squished to enjoy anything. Showers are generally too slippery and that annoying mist in your face can really get in the way. Hot tubs are just right because you have plenty of space to move around freely, the ability to move into different positions, and the steamy, hot water temperature that will fit just right.
8. In The Laundry Room
More specifically, on top of the washing machine during the spin cycle. You’re more than welcome to do it on the pile of dirty clothes from the week, if that’s what works for you, but chances are that it won’t be as enjoyable as it will be right on top of the washer. The vibration of the appliance assists in making the grand finale just a little grander.
9. In The Kitchen
On the table, on the counter, or even on the sink, or all of the above will definitely do just fine to spice up your sex life. And the cleaner it is, the better. The kitchen, that is. A 2010 study conducted by Constance Gager and Scott Yabiku concluded that the more hours that married couples devote to housework and paid work, the better their sex lives.
10. Your Brand New, Empty House
Christening your house is a must. And the time when you have nothing more than a mattress on the ground and a lamp in the corner is the perfect time to get it done. Not only do you get the thrill of not having any house baggage just yet (nothing kills the mood like looking up and seeing the stain on the ceiling from your leaking roof that you should have replaced four years ago), but you’ll probably never see it this empty ever again.